The history of Valentine’s Day – - and the story of its patron saint – - is shrouded in mystery and contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.  But who was Saint Valentine, and how did he become associated with February, the month of romance?  The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.

The Valentines honored on February 14 are Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni.  Valentine of Rome was a priest in Rome who was martyred about AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia.   His relics are at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome, and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.

St. Valentine

Valentine of Terni became Bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) about AD 197 and is said to have been martyred during the persecution under the Roman Emperor, Aurelian.  He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome.  His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni (Basilica di San Valentino).

A third saint named Valentine was also mentioned in early martyrologies under date of February 14.  He was martyred in Africa with a number of companions, but nothing more is known about him.

No romantic elements are present in the original early medieval biographies of these martyrs.  By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the 14^th century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured.  According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first “valentine” greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl – - possibly his jailor’s daughter – - who visited him during his confinement.  Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine”, an expression that is still in use today.  Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and – - most importantly – - romantic figure.

At the end of the 5^th century, Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine’s Day.  It was not until much later, however, that the day became definitively associated with love.  Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages, though written Valentine’s didn’t begin to appear until after 1400.  The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London.

By the middle of the 18^th century, it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes, and by 1900 printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology.  Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one’s feelings was discouraged.

Even Pets Receive Valentines

Americans began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s.  In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced valentines in America.  Howland, known as the “Mother of the Valentine”, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as “scrap”.  Today, according to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine’s Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year.  (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas). Women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.

Here are some interesting Valentine’s Day facts:

• Many believe the “X” symbol became synonymous with the kiss in medieval times.  People who couldn’t write their names signed in front of a witness with an “X”.  The “X” was then kissed to show their sincerity.
• In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who would be their Valentine.  They would wear this name printed onto their sleeves for one week for everyone to see.  This was the origin of the expression “to wear your heart on your sleeve”.
• Casanova, well known as “The World’s Greatest Lover”, ate chocolate to make him virile.
• Physicians of the 1800’s commonly advised their patients to eat chocolate to calm their pining for lost love.
• Richard Cadbury produced the first box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day in the late 1800’s.
• More than 35 million heart shaped boxes of chocolate will be sold for Valentine’s Day.
• The red rose was the favorite flower of Venus, the Roman goddess of love.
• Red roses are considered the flower of love because the color red stands for strong romantic feelings.
• 189 million stems of roses are sold in the U.S. on Valentine’s Day.
• Approximately 110 million roses, mostly red, will be sold and delivered within the three-day Valentine’s Day time period.
• Teachers will receive the most Valentine’s Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, sweethearts and pets.
• In addition to the United States, Valentine’s Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, United Kingdom, France, Australia, Denmark, and Italy.
• Every Valentine’s Day, the Italian city of Verona, where Shakespeare’s lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet.

The most popular way of celebrating Valentine’s Day is to go for a romantic date with your sweetheart.  One can find restaurants thronged by lovers holding hands and expressing love.  So for those of you who choose to become engaged or married on this most romantic of holidays, I provide one cautionary message, “Marriage is grand, but divorce is a hundred grand…”

Just kidding, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Tony Rad at the Altar

My wife Julia and I have been blessed five times with healthy children who have grown into young adults.  It seems like only yesterday that all five were in tow loaded into the Volkswagen Vanagon for a trip to Grandmom’s, the little league field, or just out to get an ice cream cone.  With ten hands to hold, every trip was an adventure.  And who can forget our insane idea to go to Disney World.  The endless luggage; the airport shuttle to the remote (a/k/a cheap) rental car lot; seven of us in a one-bedroom hotel and the madness of the daily trek to the park with five kids ages 1 to 10.    How did we do it?  Well the real answer is we didn’t do it, Julia did it.

Beautiful Sunny Day

But the favorite trip of all was always the Friday night ride to the shore.  The car was loaded down with big wheels, strollers, cabbage patch dolls, and my personal favorite, ninja turtles.  For Julia and I, there is no better memory than fishing and crabbing off our dock on Sunset Lake; sunny days on the beach with the boogie boards; and, jet ski rides with more cousins than you could possibly remember their names.

“Oh Those Wildwood Days”, special memories of so many special people.  Baba, T. Walter, Mom Kramer, Aunt Ruth and Aunt Ethel, Mr. Sterling, Atilla, and of course, the Big House.

And although our days on the dock on Sunset Lake continue to provide good memories, the sunniest shore day of all, at least for me, was September 10, 2011, just a few weeks ago.  That’s right, 9.10.11.

Bridesmaids - Andi and Kim

I can remember holding and walking Nicole, our oldest of five, for hours every evening trying to get her to settle down and fall asleep.  It seemed like a part-time job, but it was never work.  Nicole has always been a blessing.  And 30 years later, here I am, holding her again and walking her on the same dock….but this time it’s her wedding day…and she is the most beautiful of brides.  Daughters, God bless them, little girls who grow to become women.  But to a Dad, they are always little girls, your pride and joy.  And as I walked her up this nautical aisle and approached Nicole’s soon to be husband Steve, my only words were “precious cargo”.

Steve and Nicole had been dating for eight years.  They met on the same dock on which they were married and were engaged on the “lake”.  Stevie “Z” (Zamulinsky is a tough one) was beaming on that sunniest of days.  Steve, a soon to be candidate for a Master’s Degree in Aeronautical Science from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, and a longtime Wildwood Crest lifeguard, could not be a better match for Nicole.  Julia and I have had the opportunity to watch Steve and Nick’s relationship mature and they have grown into a wonderful couple.  I can truly say I feel our “precious cargo” is safe with a man like Steve.  We are so proud of both of them.

The Stampone's and the Z's

Steve and Nick understand that weddings are about family, all nine of their siblings played a role in their ceremony.  And, we are so fortunate for so many new relationships.  Steve is the youngest of six and the “Z’s” truly understand family.  Bill and Mary are such a good fit for Nicole, loving, caring parents, who she can count on….and a hell of a lot of fun!

We are also so fortunate to have our parents, Bill and Bunch, and Pete and Joan, attend Nicole and Steve’s special day.  They are the matriarchs and patriarchs to whom we owe everything.

There are far too many people to mention who made this day so special, but I can’t leave out cousin Tony Rad for officiating at the ceremony not to mention his stylish rendition of Bobby Darin’s “Beyond the Sea” and for cousin Lonnie’s soulful and heartfelt version of the Al Green classic, “I’m So In Love With You”.  From Nicole’s godparents, Freddie and Eva, to Aunt Dolores and Uncle Joe Foster, just to name a few, the day could not have been better.  And I know Nick and Steve will agree that everything about this special day involved Julia.  As my father likes to say, “If you don’t like Julia, you don’t like ice cream.”

9-10-11

In a way, your daughter’s wedding can be traumatic, especially for a dad.  After all, a young man is replacing you as the most important male in your daughter’s life.  But for me, there was no trauma involved.  Just a peaceful sense that Nick and Steve are right for each other and will never forget the sunniest day of all – - I know I won’t.